I don't know how else to start this, this is a strange one.. One that is different..
Just a bunch of random thoughts, no proper construction.. No proper sentence structure, paragraphs are just out of whack.. It probably won't even make much sense..
But, it is just the random thoughts, the random things that spring to mind at that moment.. One thing setting off another, one bringing back another, one being totally out of place or context to the rest..
Whichever way, that is just how it is going to go..
Oh man, I'm hungry.. What to get.. Maccas, had it yesterday.. Thai, could go Thai.. Cheap and easy.. Maybe Indian.. I don't want to bring in lunch, that doesn't cut it for me.. I get over it.. Tried it, didn't work long.. Lasted about 2 weeks on healthy stuff.. Now I just have whatever.. I'm probably going to die soon.. Oh, imagine if I die.. That would suck.. I'd be mad shitty.. Oh man, if a friend died.. Would be so distraught.. I lost my Sammy, I was fair cut.. Loved that lil dog.. Best natured dog.. I was so upset.. I only discovered recently that fish can jump out of fish bowls.. Was like, what the hell? Gold fish jump? .. It made me laugh though.. Strange behaviors of strange lil creatures.. I wonder if fish get happy or sad.. Be like Nemo! .. Bouncing to es-cap-eh out of the fish bowl.. I wonder if fish smile.. Maybe they do? And we just can't see it.. I wonder what kind of smile.. "Thanks for this pimpin bowl!" .. Or something.. Just a happy little smile, because you gave them a home..? Smiles are awesome.. Some people can really affect me when they smile..
It's amazing.. How one can make you feel that way, just buy looking at them.. A single little glimpse, a little smile.. That cute smile, that one she has.. Makes you melt inside.. How do people have that power? How do you gain that kind of power.. That upper hand on someone.. Their smile, just glowing.. Lighting up the room, lighting up your day.. Instantly bringing one to your face.. No matter what mood you are in.. Just the look in their eyes, that sincere smile.. Nothing fake, you can tell if it's a fake one from them.. But you know, as much as they do.. That they mean that smile for you.. You can see it in their eyes.. Their eyes shining, sparkling, their face just radiating brightness and happyness..
Different smiles, different causes, different meanings.. The smile I get from her smile, is one of care, it's one for her.. The smile I get from my car, is a smile of excitement, eager to get out there, to be free.. The smile I get from friends is one of joy, happyness, true fascination of what is going to happen now.. The smile I get from Fry is one of love, happyness, a joy that only a pet can bring you.. The unconditional love, no matter how bad of a mood you are in, they are always going to bring out a little smile, a little bit of joy..
Nothing better than coming home from a bad day at work, or out.. And coming home to a wagging tail and a bounding loving dog.. One who will always love you, even when no one else does.. One who will always love if you, even if you forget to feed them, play with them, or leave them in the rain accidentally.. One who will always love you even if you go off at them for ruining some socks.. The socks can be replaced.. Oh socks, so many of mine are ruined.. I don't know how, I don't know why..
Oh socks, how random are they.. I remember being a kid, wearing socks, and running along tile floors sliding everywhere.. Fun times, awesome stacks and broken things.. But fun times.. I remember being a kid, being care free.. Riding my bike up to Adams place.. Playing the Playstation, or him jumping on his bike.. And us just riding everywhere.. Sometimes to other peoples places, getting them aswell.. Just being kids, free and happy.. Buying toy cars, making roads, going on adventures around the place.. All so care free..
Now I have my car, now I drive everywhere.. Adam now lives in Coffs Harbour, all the other people we'd travel with are gone.. I remember this one girl from Primary School.. Everyone had a crush on her.. I remember riding to her place one time.. And visiting.. We played Lego and talked and went for walks.. She had a Golden Retriever.. Good dog that, big one.. She was American.. She went back after year 6.. I found her randomly in a group on FaceBook for our Primary School.. That was bizarre..
I want to be a kid again, but sometimes I don't .. I just remember some things from what it was like, the good fun times.. But I can kind of relive those, just slightly different and more extreme.. More scaled up.. Fun times, shared in different ways with different people.. Going out, hitting the beach, going clubbing, street racing, buying outfits, disco candy, city trips, road trips and holidays, bowl noodles, taking someone out to dinner, movies, no sleep for 48 hours, fights, mobiles, take away, coffee and cafe nights, people trouble, girl worries, and all sorts..
Bush walks, riding bikes, staying up past 9pm, watching an M rated movie secretly, computer games, toy cars, petty shoplifting, the corner store with the wide lolly range, the fish and chip place with hot chips, the creek before it became rotten and toxic, the swimming pool, family outings, special "maccas" nights and buses to the shopping centre.. All so nice, all so simple, all so miniscule in comparison to the kind of stuff that happens today..
I'm happy where I am.. I have great people around me.. I love those people.. Care about them so much, I try to do lots for them.. I think I do, I hope they appreciate it.. Sometimes I don't know if they do or not.. But, I do it.. I tend to end up driving lots.. I don't mind it, Spending an extra 20mins or something on the road just so I can be able to have someone out with us.. It's usually not that much of a hike, and I do it.. I'm happy to, I really am.. If I didn't want to, I'd just say it.. Or wouldn't offer.. I don't always ask for petrol money, I don't always need it.. I only ask if I'm low.. I don't like taking cash from people..
It's not a pride thing, I just don't.. I'm happy to spend money on people, but don't always like taking it.. But it does mean alot when people do, Means so much to me.. I'd just rather pay for myself so they can use their money on them..
Money comes and goes.. But memories last forever.
I'm basically broke right now, I have like no money left until next week.. So I have to be careful with my spending! .. But, I'll manage, I'm owed a fair amount of money, So people better pay me back soon.. Alyce, Alice, Rachel and Vatha all owe me $100 for Soundwave tickets.. Oh man, thats going to be an awesome day.. It's ON my 21st.. So I get to be at a concert, with a huge group of friends, on my 21st bday! So awesome, I love music.. It's great.. Especially Trance and Electro right now! .. I still love some RnB and Rock.. But, mainly those 2 genres.
What would life be without music?
Music produces a kind of pleasure that human nature cannot do without. - Confucius
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo
Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, It won't come out of your horn. They teach you there is a boundary line to music. But, man, there's no boundary line to art. - Charlie Parker...Read The Rest Here!
I'm heading to the toilet.. The music, loud, fast, thumping my chest.. I start walking to the beat of it.. Feeling this urge to just dance..
I smile the biggest smile, I am no longer walking.. I am floating.. My legs are merely keeping the momentum, But, My body is just floating to where I want it to go..
I look to my right, it's dark.. There are bright colours, Flashing lights, lots of dancing bodies..
I am still smiling, Like a small child that just got it's first piece of candy.. A brand new toy.. I feel so energetic, like a small puppy.. I am still floating.. I'm heading towards the toilets at the back of the building.. It's just hit me.. My mind goes insane, a million things racing through it at once.. The urge to dance imminent, I feel at bliss..
The lights at the end are getting brighter, I wish someone would turn them down.. There is someone walking towards me, he looks at me, points to my shirt and says "Dude that is sick!" We laugh, he gives me a one arm around hug and pats me on the shoulder, we laugh again, and off into the crowd he disappears..
I finally make it, and I leave.. Heading back to those I know.. Still floating.. As I am walking, I notice someone.. I recognize them.. Who are they? "Oh wait!" I remember, as I stop in my tracks.. Them looking at me.. Huge smiles grow on our faces.. "Daft Punk!" I yell. "FUCK YEAH!!" He yells back, throwing his arms in the air.. Full of energy and excitement.. Remembering the excited conversation he had with the lot of us earlier in the night..
On I go, after chatting briefly, Heading towards the people I know.. I find the team.. And we go on our missions...
This is the last time I ever did it, Transmission: Aloha Party.. 9th September 2007..
There are a bunch of things I remember about that night, I don't remember all.. As it was, about a month ago, and yes, I was intoxicated.. For the last time.. This is a recount of the things I remember, the people I remember meeting.. The experiences and thoughts I can remember..
--The Lasers--
I'm standing there, Looking over all the seats down to the stage.. The lasers are flashing, moving, going insane.. I am mesmerized.. It is amazing.. I'm sure anyone who wasn't on anything would appreciate and think they are awesome, but I don't think nearly as much as I did..
I could stand there for hours, watching them, anticipating what move will happen next, how they will bounce of things, "Will they hit me? What will happen if they do?" I wonder.. "oh shit! here it comes!!" I prepare myself.. "WOOO!" I am incredibly amused as the laser passes through me.. The swirls and colour all spinning as the smoke in the room shows up because of the light.. It is awesome, amazing, I reach out and mix it up.. It is slowly rising again.. Back past my eyes and up into the roof.. "I have to tell Tim!" and I leave, disappear from the area, like a rabbit running and bounding through the crowd.. Looking for Tim..
--Same Name?--
When on them, the strangest situations or things can set off different emotions.. During one conversation your state can change dramatically so many times, without you even realising it.. I was standing around waiting to meet little Carol, who had won tickets with her boyfriend and various other friends from a Radio Station competition.. I'm standing next to the bar, Just waiting, Thinking this was where she wanted to meet..
I saw a palm tree. It was random as.. I saw a moving palm tree..
I'm looking and talking to random people about their shirts as they walk past, each loving and most taking advantage of my shirt.. [Free Hugs].. When one person walking along with their girlfriend appears.. [Hugs Not Drugs].. Instantly making the connection between their shirt and my own, In one excited realisation I stopped him.. Pointed to his shirt, pointing to my own. He laughs.. His girlfriend, armed with a camera straight up wants photos..
We chat, and when she tells me her name, again, in one big excited realisation I reply, "Oh my god! I have a friend with the same name!" And then, straight away.. I become saddened.. I look at the ground, saddest look of the century emerging on my face.. She holds me, asks whats wrong.. And then we end up in a induced D&M.. Which can go for 5 mins and share the most cherished of information, to an hour or so before we forget what we are talking about.. At that moment, I told her what I hadn't really told anyone else.. This person, That I had only just met 1 or 2 minutes before, now knows all about this girl I am in love with.. And she holds onto it, She cares, she doesn't try to change the subject, she wants more info.. We forget about what we are talking about, and end up talking about random stuff.. I asked her about this Palm Tree I saw, and she had seen it too.. Then both suddenly want to dance.. As I remember I was looking for my friend, we take a photo, and go to say goodbye.. We share numbers, as she was going to send me the photos, and we share MySpace's.. I still chat to her via MySpace, we plan on catching up..
--Some Side Effects--
I'm dancing with Rachel, we are just having fun, going nuts.. At first we had a group of us, a bunch of us, people left to go home and others arrived.. But in the end, it was just Tim, Rachel and me..
Smiling and nodding at randoms around us, people joining and then disappearing.. And then, like always, BANG.. It sets in.. The inevitable.. The horny'ness, the toey'ness, the primal urge to just DO anything that moves.. I look at her and say, "Oh man, I'm so incredibly toey" Which is something I tend to tell everyone so often while on them, everyone on them instantly agreeing.. She agrees, like always, and as always we share a couple of quick kisses.. Almost every time we are on them together, we end up kissing.. Nothing extreme, It just happens, god knows why haha.. Same mind state? I don't know.. I always end up kissing people, some I do know, some I don't know.. Utopia was one crazy for that, so many different girls.. They aren't anything more than just a quick one.. You have to be careful when you are on them, without even realising it you'll become very cuddly and touchy.. Often at the Moulin Rouge I'll end up with someone on my lap, or I'll be on someones lap, or I'll be cuddling them.. And both sets of hands will wonder without realising it.. Both people embracing it.. Every touch, electrifying, intensified, adding more and more excitement.. The softness of skin is much more intense, electrifying, adding more of a tickle, more of a sense.. The touch, to you will feel so nice.. You can feel their emotions.. You can feel what they are feeling.. To them, the touch is just so good.. The lightest touch can start to feel like it's meant to be a massage.. If you grab someone, squeeze them hard while rubbing them, it will be like an orgasm to them.. It is just amazing.. If you are both on it, You will feel their warmth, their heat, their body against yours, and it is just so amazing.. You are connected through an embrace.. Like both of your bodies are now in tune, you are a peripheral device to eachother.. Feeding off eachothers moment, mood, excitement, intensified feeling..
One moment I remember, one of the first times I ever did it.. It was at the Moulin Rouge in Kings Cross, Sydney.. I sat in this big leather seat they have at the front.. It felt like it cupped me in, it pulled me in.. The leather felt so smooth, so nice on me.. It was the most incredible seat I had ever sat in.. I sunk into it, I felt amazing, The seat put it's arms around me and just rubbed me all over.. I can not describe it any other way than this: You know when someone rubs your back with the palm of their hand, it feels nice over that one spot their hand is currently on.. Times that by 2, and make it over your entire back in one go..
--The Randoms--
Throughout the night, You come across some of the strangest, funniest, funkiest and most bizarre people..
You have the typical "Hard Style" ravers.. Their flares big pants with flashy shiney reflective crap all over it (which are the coolest ever and so mesmerizing) The fluffy girls.. The 'basically naked' girls walking around in big boots, bras and underwear with their nice tight bodies The candy ravers with beads and coloured stuff all the way up their arms The 'lads' which are the same no matter where you go The people who just go all out with the theme, not caring what anyone things, but just to have a good time..
There was this one guy, tall bloke, he was everywhere.. He is in so many photos from the night.. It is hilarious.. He would always tap me on the shoulder or make known his presence whenever he was around me, as I would back..
I saw the Palm Tree again, but then this bloke, I don't remember his name.. Appeared, blocking me from seeing what it was! It was like I was never meant to find out.. Because, something would always happen when it appeared again.. Was I halucinating? Was it real? What was it?
Later on that night, I went on a mission.. I went looking for this "Palm Tree".. I asked a couple people if they saw it, one bloke bluntly answering, "Yeah, there is some hot bitch with it" and pointed..
I still never found it..
I was looking through photos on InTheMix for pictures of myself and Tim, and saw the Palm Tree girl.. Heh, she was hot..
--Excitement--
The smallest things amuse you.. A funny shirt can leave you so incredibly happy.. You don't often laugh, You can't be bothered laughing.. In your head you will be in hysterics, but on the outside you'll just look very very amused and happy..
We were sitting around towards the end of the night, just watching the lasers.. There was one I was mainly focused on, but every now and then another laser would take my attention.. At one point the lasers moved slowly, but strobed.. Focused on them it was like life was slowed down half speed.. Like everything was in slow motion.. It was just amazing..
I filmed it on my other phone, I'll eventually get the videos off that phone..
The music gets to you, it sinks right in.. It is just so incredible.. The emotions and feelings it gives you.. You can't listen to rock, rock irritates you.. You can't listen to rnb, it just doesn't work.. Trance, Electro, House, Hard Styles, it all works.. I don't know why, It is just the way it is.. For me atleast anyway, with all of those..
At one point this one song, off my favourite album at the time came on.. A song that reminded me of Miki for some reason.. ...The space we are, The space we were... I heard it, just briefly, as it was mixing in.. It caught my ear, I stopped for a second, my head looking left the fastest it ever had..
The lasers caught me in the eye and drew my attention in more.. ...The face we are, The face we were... The second lot of lyrics calling out.. I whipped out my phone, called Miki, put it on loud speaker and held it up.. I don't think he could actually hear me.. We had a really stupid conversation that involved mostly "What?!" "Where?" "What are you saying?" ..and lots of yelling out to eachother..
The excitement of that song overwhelmed me, it was from A State Of Trance 2007 mixed by Armin Van Buuren.. It was just a song, but it was just amazing, familiar, awesome, I loved the song..
But, by the end of the night, overwhelmed by tiredness at the start, kept awake by artificial energy, it all had to come to an end.. Early too.. So fatigued from so much driving that day, It was time to end it..
The last time, was a good time. I wanted it to be that way..
The Laser Show for Public Domain:
Yes, the feeling is amazing, and no I don't regret ever starting them or doing them..
But one thing is for sure, I recommend people to NOT do them.. It can really mess you around, I could feel myself being messed around by them.. Being more short fused, less happy in the long run, and all sorts of things..
They aren't addictive themselves, but the feeling is addictive.. And they do really mess you up in the long run.....Read The Rest Here!
Last night we were lazing about in my room, as the bunch of us tend to do.. And someone came up with the idea of watching Alice In Wonderland.. Of all the movies I have in my house, we decided to watch that..
Well, it was rather interesting watching it now.. In the state of mind that I'm in, the current "life knowledge" I have, and the things I am aware of..
Watching that movie as a kid, you don't tend to pick up on things, as someone who may be older than you may be able to pick up on.. As a younger child, you aren't aware of what the characters in the movie may have been based on, what it is they are taking, what they are doing, what they are implying and all sorts of things like that..
The hashish smoking caterpillar, the mushrooms, the sadistic queen obsessed with removing characters heads, the caffeine addicted or high on speed Mad Hatter and his long eared buddy, murderous walrus and other assorted things and statements throughout the movie..
As a naive young child, you are just mesmerized by everything, totally unaware of particular or actual reasonings or occurances throughout the movie.. You just see it all as magical, fun, funny or strange, but are never drawn to think about why, or what it is that is causing this kind of behavior or things within the movie..
As an older person now, re-watching what I once thought was just wacky and strange, I have now been drawn to think about it more.. Instead of being just purely entertained by the bizarre and random, I now think about why or what it is they are doing.. Why she is dreaming what she is dreaming, what is causing the characters to behave like they are, and where I can get some of that "Mushroom & Crazy Tea"..
A while ago I was told that Alice In Wonderland was written by somebody on LSD/Acid/Ice or some form of mind altering substance.. Well, Hey, I can totally see that.. The kinds of transformations, characters and events are just so bizarre, so random, so strange, that somebody had to be on something to come up with something so twisted..
I searched the web for this, and came across this website (Drug Answer = First One).. Whether it is true or not, I do not know, nor do I really care THAT much to properly clarify this.. So, here, read it yourself and make you're own decision.. Be that answer biased or fact, I honestly don't care..
Oh, and I definitely want what that cat was on.. haha..
I've been off everything for the last month and a half or so.. And it's been great, found I can have heaps of fun mad sober! Alcohol doesn't seem to agree with me, so I just don't use it.. And just have lots of Tommy sober fun.. Doing whatever, and just having fun..
Sure, I can't say or do things that I normally would if I was off chops or drunk, but I can work my way into it! haha.. Normally I'd straight up do whatever someone dared or wanted me to, talk to whoever or whatever.. But, sober, as you would know, things aren't always as easy to say or do..
I don't regret ever doing drugs, I don't regret anything I've done (except one thing, which I won't mention, but the one person it concerns knows this and forgives, but I don't forget it..).. I don't regret it at all, it was a phase, it was fun, and now I'm out of it before I got myself too deep or too caught up in it and really sent things off track..
My parents knew from day one, I told them about it, I told them everything about it.. They never liked it, but weren't going to preach or whatever.. I didn't do it too often, but I did it.. Some friends hated it, it drove some away from me and others.. It was my choice to do this, it was their choice to step away.. We'd never see eye to eye with it, fair enough, can't expect everyone to share the same opinion or views on everything as you do..
They were fun, they were amazing, I have to admit.. But I don't recommend anyone to start it.. Not at all.. But, everyone has to realise that you can't preach and keep others away from it, it is so extremely common.. They will always be around it.. If someone you know is doing it, and you don't want them to.. Talk to them about it, discuss it, share your views, don't resort to preaching and arguements, don't resort to guilt trips.. Just be aware..
I never realised the frequency and commonplace that drugs are, until I entered that world.. So many people have and do do it.. And it is so easy to get your hands on them too..
Anyway, that phase is over for me.. It has been a while.. I did them at the last rave (Transmission - Aloha).. Before that was about a month, or over a month.. and before that a few weeks.. And now, no more.. If I am going to ever do them again, it will be at Daft Punk in December.. But even then, I don't think I will.. I just don't want to anymore.. I haven't even thought about doing them lately.. I do remember the feeling and state of mind it gives you, but, no more for me..
And I stand by that, and are happy about that decision.
People often wonder what it is about cars that makes me so interested, happy, and "obsessed" if you will..
My answer to them is, I don't know.
Because really, I just don't know..
Cars have always been a passion, Ever since I was a young child.. The look, the feel, the style, the roar, just the overall vehicle within itself..
Driving is an escape, It is a way for me to feel free. The power at my hands, the control up to me, as my foot pushes a pedal to the floor, the engine roars, everything soars by, things blur, everything moving by so fast, the smallest incorrect action possibly leading to destruction. That excitement. I was never majorly in awe over the whole typical "Supercar", such as the big names like Ferrari, Lamborghini, Porsche and Aston Martin. I was more into the more "normal" cars, Such as Subaru, Ford, and most other lower priced vehicles..
As a kid, I would buy or knock off toy cars from department stores.. My eyes would wonder past the typical super cars, and look for something more interesting.. Perhaps more common in the real world, to add to my collection, to put on my toy roads in my toy cities I created. Make something more realistic.
Sure, I loved the supercars, but I preferred things more "down to earth" so to speak, for the life I feel I am going to be leading. I don't expect to be super rich, to be able to afford the most expensive and top of the line things.
As I get behind the wheel, I am in control. The car will go as fast as I want it to, it will (most of the time!) go in the direction I want it to.. I take off, I put my foot down, I slam it through the gears..
The needle goes higher.. 20, 40, 70, 80, 100, 120kmh.. I let go and it slows..
For those few seconds as the car takes off, as it launches, as the engine roars and I pass all those slower vehicles.. I am free, I am the fastest moving thing at that moment around me, everything going by, everything left behind.. I am free.
If I want, when I am driving, I can make things not exist.. The problems I may be facing, the people I may not like or are having trouble with, Other people and things on the road.. Don't exist.. It is just me, in my own world, with random obstacles in the way..
The red lights, the stop signs, they are all temporary snaps back into the real world.
Once the light goes green, once those in my way move, again, I'm free.
As I travel down the road, doing 50kmh, 70kmh, 90kmh, whatever the speed limit is at the time. I am just me, and the car. As I am driving spiritedly, with people in the car, or on my own.. Travelling to a destination, I am travelling for that reason.. To be where I need to be..
But, if I am going for a burn, if I need an escape.. I let go, I forget the laws, I forget all those restrictions. I just don't care.
Windows down, Wind blasting into the car, arm out the window, the lights, trees, buildings and everything blur by. The little engine roaring its brains out, tyres heating up, my lights blur. As I zoom by cars, them disappearing into the mirror, into a little dot, as I do to them in the distance ahead. My heart is relaxed, beating slowly, my reactions tuned into the situation, my eyes taking in everything around me. A car pulls into my lane, I quickly react. Just a mere obstacle. Things are still good..
My speedo reaching 130kmh, more than twice the speed limit. I am not phased. Weaving through cars, roaring around corners, the sequential AWD doing its thing, holding the car in the corner. I steer a quick sharp jab, just to get the screech around the corner for extra fun and effect and excitement.
All my problems, disappearing by the KM/H..
I am free.
I see something coming up ahead, I slow.. I let the engine slow the car.. I am now at 80kmh.. Still just over.. I give the brakes a quick tap.. The car is at 60kmh..
I am cruising, a smile on my face, I feel much better, I feel good again.. I escaped, for that short time.. and it's made me much better..
I head to one of my relaxing locations, switch off my car, and lean on the bonnet.. I look up, and just think. Watching the clouds roll by, watching the cars in the distance, listen to the wind.
It is either pitch black, no people, no street lights, just moon light watching water. Or it is over looking the city, one of 3 places over looking the city. Staring at the colours, the lights, watching the seagulls look for food at night, watching the streak of lights in the distance. The occasional siren, or person walking by. A friendly hello. Or some body standing there with me, hand in hand, or just chatting.
There is one girl I wish to show all 4 locations, One girl I wish to just be in the presence with. One girl I wish to hold and care about. One girl I want to escape with me. She is beautiful, and would match each place so well. I'm sure she'd appreciate the view as much as I do. The view would be so much greater with her in it.
As I just stand there, in quietness, in my own world, I hear the "click click click" of the metal in the engine cooling..
My usual day, A short story.. Part 2: Along The Rails
By now I have departed from the ever so crowded bus, and are on my way to the station..
I get off the bus at the QVB and start walking towards Town Hall Station..
Now, the bus doesn't drop us off right at the QVB, so there is a small walk.. This walk often ensues the shoving and dodging of random people.. When you are pissed off, just force your shoulder into their chest or gut, that helps relieve some anger and stress, and also ensures you get the right of way through the crowd! Haha.. Upon heading down the stairs of the QVB to get on the same floor as the station, The crowd gets bigger and more badass..
More people taking up the whole corridor, the direction I'm going usually only has a few people, where as there are huge huge crowds heading towards me.. I tend to retreat to the far left along the shops because there is usually a path, but I also still have to barge people who just don't seem to like to leave space for people.. Those people tend to get more of a barging from me as I travel fast and defensive..
Waiting for the train usually isn't a long task, most of the time its 2 minutes wait.. Other times 5-10 minutes.. The longest I've had to wait is about 25 minutes.. Such a pain in the arse because I then have to stay back to make up that time! All because some tool either fell/jumped on the tracks down the line, or because someone was sick or the train is just generally late and not on time.. Which tends to be the usual case for Sydney transport..
As you stand there, in your own little world.. Totally zoned and content.. You are, without fail, always awaken by the good ol friendly voice over the intercom system.. "The next train to arrive on Platform 5 goes to Bondi Junction. First stop Martin Place......"
Everyone who gets a train in Sydney knows that voice.. And the same lovely "Stand clear, Doors closing.."
My train is usually empty on the way there, so I always get a seat.. Just lounge out, read my book, listen to my music, look at the strange people sharing the carriage, staring blankly out the window trying to see if I can spot anything new.. It is relaxing, nice and I am content..
By the time it reaches Edgecliff I'm always really tired and want to sleep.. I can be totally fine before and after, It is always Edgecliff that makes me tired..
Some days I wish I jumped on the train on the adjacent Platform, Platform 6.. It goes to Campbelltown, I just want to head there sometimes.. Just escape and get away..
Often staring out the window, I wish I could just be out there.. Doing my own thing, having fun, and not heading to work..
Or that I'm on a train heading to friends, where I'm going to go nuts and just be me! Not be cooped up in an office, behind a screen for 8 hours of my day.. Staring blankly, churning my brain for design inspiration.. Creating things that people love, but I'll never know what everyone thinks of it..
I have just reached Bondi Junction Station and are getting ready to alight from the train.. I'm looking to the people to the left and right of me, in their own worlds.. Thinking the same thing, Mind the gap, which way should I go once off the train, what should I grab to eat.. Just minding their own business, thinking about their day ahead of them, not communicating with anyone else.. Just worried about their own stuff..
We depart, onward we go! Up the escalators and out the gates.. Into the bright sunny weather, the brightness that is Bondi Junction.. I head towards the traffic lights to cross.. Watching the rich people drive their BMW's and Mercedes extremely fast down the hill.. Looking at the familiar faces that crowd around the crossing.. As they stare at the lights, waiting for their little signal to show that they can "safely" cross the road..
I look to my left, up the hill. I see another crowd of people, doing the same thing.. I look to my right, under a bridge, a car park. I think "Should I smash a window and steal a car? They'll never catch me!" Then I remember I can only go the first step, I have no idea how to hotwire.. So that goes back into my brain as a fun little imagination.. I look behind me.. People rushing towards me, to make the lights that just changed..
I cross. Listening to my music, again in my own world.. Walking down Grafton st. towards my office.. Where I'll be for the next 8 hours..
Up the stairs, press the button I punched and thought I broke a week or two earlier.. I smile and get smiles returned at the girls I see every now and then in the elevator.. Every day, wish I could say something.. Who knows, lunch buddy? new friend? possible partner?
Out of the elevator, smile and wave at Lena on reception.. Into the office, Sit at my desk..
My usual day, A short story.. Part 1: The Morning Mission Into The City
Every work morning is the same thing.. My alarm goes off at 7am.. I hit snooze.. again at 7:10, followed by 7:20.. On some mornings I'll get up at 7:20.. others I snooze it to 7:30 or 7:40..
I climb out of bed, and walk like a zombie to the bathroom for a shower.. On the way, if I happen to see mum or dad, I'll grunt a "hi!".. With them usually replying, my dad with a typical father type "Good Afternoon" if I've slept in..
I get into the shower, freshen up, and when I leave it.. I'm a whole other person, I'm awake.. It's like the shower washed all the zombie out of me.. I am now ready to continue on my day.. A shower generally takes me 10-15 minutes..
Longer depending on my night before, which is usually a late one.. I then brush my teeth, attempt to fix up my hair and I am out of the house by 8-8:15..
Now is my stumble to the bus stop, usually I'm in my own world with my music blasting.. Or if I'm tired, in a rush, will be in a rush coming home, or it is raining; I'll drive to the bus stop.. Normally a 5-10 minute walk, now a 20second drive@85kmh down Cox's Rd. Yes I plant it, it's fun!
Standing around at the bus stop, I see a whole lot of regular faces.. The people who are there from 7:55-8:05, the people there from 8:05-8:15, the people from 8:15-8:40, and so on and so forth.. It is the same people, between the same times.. With random new additions or people who missed the bus before..
There are the people getting the 288, 506, 287 and the new express 297.. The group always divides up, and there is always a line up.. The same people, doing their same routine, for their entire life.. As they, like programmed computers and machines, do the same thing.. Every morning..
Some mornings I like to break this line up, by walking past everyone and sitting on the stairs.. I get looks like "oh how could he push in?!" and "why didn't I think of that..?".. It is a break to their routine, people generally get confused or put off when something comes along to break their routines.. "It just isn't right, something is different.." It is like their whole life just came crashing down for that second.. Their routine, the thing they are so used to, just got changed.. "What to do? What to do?" they probably ask themselves, as they become accustomed to this change..
Mum is usually with me in the mornings, so we stand there and chat about life.. She asks me about new girls, drugs, my car, explains problems, or confides in me for my opinion or advice.. We usually have good chats, it's good to be able to talk to my mother about things.. I trust her alot, she trusts me, we have a good relationship.
The bus trip has been so much better since the new Lane Cove Tunnel has been built.. Usually it'll take between 30-45 minutes to get to the city.. Depending on the traffic after the harbour bridge, down York st. in the city..
But, times like today, when dickheads crash into eachother (3 car pile up on Epping Rd), traffic gets worse.. If I get the 297 my trip is lessened by an average of about 15 minutes.. Getting me to the QVB and Town Hall Station much faster..
Usually on the bus there are alot of familiar people, again, they are on their usual routine.. Bus at this time, every day, every week, for the whole entire year.. For many years of their lives.. Sometimes I notice some pretty girls, some strange looking people, a huge pair of glasses, a bad odur, some nice perfume or cologne.. A familiar face that I recognize from somewhere.. When walking onto the bus, I look at the driver, some give me that welcoming nod, or a good morning.. It is usually 3 drivers I get, sometimes one I've never seen before.. One driver gives off a happy "Morning Folks!" and a "Have a good day!" as people leave..
As I dip my ticket into the machine, and hear that familiar "beep beep beep" noise as it reads it, I look down the bus, to see if there are any seats inwhich I can occupy.. Upon finding this seat, I make my way down.. Noticing the curious eyes as they look up at me walking by.. As I sit down in the seat, me and the person that is usually beside me both make the awkward movement.. Even if they don't need to move over to give me room, they still tend to shift around..
I suppose they are thinking that if they don't, I may take it as a hint they want me, or they are rude, or something.. Who knows.. If I get my own row, that is great, and usually my mum will sit beside me, and we'll continue the conversation we were having before stepping onto the bus..
Sometimes I deliberately say a few things in ways, just to see if I can get some reaction from a person listening into my conversation.. I have seen people snicker, or be in awe or just confused, and I know then they must have been listening..
It is strange some of the things you can hear or see on just any bus.. Someone boasting about the girl they got.. Their new car.. The things them and their mates did on the weekend.. How their football team went.. How they think their wife or partner is cheating.. And one break up of a marriage over the phone..
One conversation I over heard coming from the 2 teenage girls standing behind me as we entered the bus.. It had about 4 'Likes'.. Followed by a couple of words.. Then 3 more 'likes' in a row Broken by an 'and' and 2 more 'likes'.. I laughed, it was just so strange and so stupid.. How does one say that many 'likes' and not even realise it? Sure, 'like' is probably one of the most commonly used words by any 1 teenager, but to that degree, in a row??
As the bus travels along its regular path, another regular routine in this world.. I'm either staring out the window, watching the cars go past.. Even then do I see a couple of the same cars, at the same place, at the same moment each day.. -The white 'Honda Integra' with the bronze rims and spoiler -The red 'Lexus IS200' with the rims -The black '2007 STI WRX' with personalised plates -The silver 'Mercedez Benz' with green P-Plates.. All of which are random cars I see occasionally while travelling along the Sydney Harbour Bridge..
As we get into the city, the same people get off at the same stops along York St. My stop being the last one.. At the QVB.. From then I walk to Town Hall Station..
And slowly he came to realise.. That he was becoming, or had become.. Exactly what he had always frowned upon.. And looked down upon.. In disgust, he looks upon himself.. In sorrow he sits.. With his now only 1 regret in life.. He is and always will be sorry..
Well last night I took someone out.. What a fun night that was :) This time I'm going to take things easy, take things slower.. See how it pans out and take it from there.. I'd really like to try with this one, try get things smooth and working.. Learn from the past and apply things to the now situation.. Just see where things will lead.. Whether they will lead to something more, or just a strengthened friendship.. Time will only tell.. I just have to say though, I am very interested.. We went to get some food and to the movies, then back to her place and talked for ages.. Was really nice, just such an easy going night.. Working out so nicely and stuff :) She is such a cute one, very pretty, fun and such a sweet one.. A real keeper I'd say! There was something about her from the very first time I met her..
But yeah, We'll have to see where things go from here.. I hope it'll go well!
Anyway, Next Saturday I plan on getting wheels for my car.. Well, new ones.. No it is not sitting on bricks at the moment.. The wheels I want are Lenso Tenzo DC5 Version 2 in Charcoal Black.. They are fair sexy, going to cost me $1680 with Tyres.. Which I'm fine paying.. I looked at similar style wheels, and got prices.. $2980 for G-Max Eagle and another wheel was $4000 for a set..
Lenso Tenzo DC5 Version 2 in Charcoal Black
At the moment I'm actually reading a book! Shock horror! Tom reading? I never read during school, was never inclined to read out of school.. But I thought I may aswell give it a shot.. So I got a book off Katie, It's called Candy. About a couple of Sydney siders, who become heroin junkies.. And their lives.. It's fairly interesting so far.. It was recommended by Shane and Katie.. and so far, I think its pretty good! :)
So I recommend it..
Candy by Luke Davies
There isn't really much more to add to here.. Nothing much more I really need or want to say on anything, as there isn't much new..
Tim just got a new car, R33 Nissan Skyline Series 1.. Maroon, 19's and double BOV.. It is rather sexual! haha.. Going for a spin in it for the first time tonight, he picked it up yesterday.. I called him up today, he is full loving it understandably! haha.. ...Read The Rest Here!
