The Space We Are

I'm heading to the toilet.. The music, loud, fast, thumping my chest.. I start walking to the beat of it.. Feeling this urge to just dance..

I smile the biggest smile, I am no longer walking.. I am floating.. My legs are merely keeping the momentum, But, My body is just floating to where I want it to go..

I look to my right, it's dark.. There are bright colours, Flashing lights, lots of dancing bodies..

I am still smiling, Like a small child that just got it's first piece of candy.. A brand new toy.. I feel so energetic, like a small puppy.. I am still floating..

I'm heading towards the toilets at the back of the building.. It's just hit me.. My mind goes insane, a million things racing through it at once.. The urge to dance imminent, I feel at bliss..

The lights at the end are getting brighter, I wish someone would turn them down.. There is someone walking towards me, he looks at me, points to my shirt and says "Dude that is sick!"
We laugh, he gives me a one arm around hug and pats me on the shoulder, we laugh again, and off into the crowd he disappears..

I finally make it, and I leave.. Heading back to those I know.. Still floating..
As I am walking, I notice someone.. I recognize them.. Who are they?
"Oh wait!" I remember, as I stop in my tracks.. Them looking at me..
Huge smiles grow on our faces..
"Daft Punk!" I yell.
"FUCK YEAH!!" He yells back, throwing his arms in the air.. Full of energy and excitement.. Remembering the excited conversation he had with the lot of us earlier in the night..

On I go, after chatting briefly, Heading towards the people I know.. I find the team.. And we go on our missions...

This is the last time I ever did it, Transmission: Aloha Party.. 9th September 2007..

There are a bunch of things I remember about that night, I don't remember all.. As it was, about a month ago, and yes, I was intoxicated.. For the last time.. This is a recount of the things I remember, the people I remember meeting.. The experiences and thoughts I can remember..

--The Lasers--
I'm standing there, Looking over all the seats down to the stage.. The lasers are flashing, moving, going insane.. I am mesmerized.. It is amazing.. I'm sure anyone who wasn't on anything would appreciate and think they are awesome, but I don't think nearly as much as I did..

I could stand there for hours, watching them, anticipating what move will happen next, how they will bounce of things,
"Will they hit me? What will happen if they do?" I wonder..
"oh shit! here it comes!!" I prepare myself..
"WOOO!" I am incredibly amused as the laser passes through me.. The swirls and colour all spinning as the smoke in the room shows up because of the light.. It is awesome, amazing, I reach out and mix it up.. It is slowly rising again.. Back past my eyes and up into the roof..
"I have to tell Tim!" and I leave, disappear from the area, like a rabbit running and bounding through the crowd.. Looking for Tim..



--Same Name?--
When on them, the strangest situations or things can set off different emotions.. During one conversation your state can change dramatically so many times, without you even realising it..
I was standing around waiting to meet little Carol, who had won tickets with her boyfriend and various other friends from a Radio Station competition..
I'm standing next to the bar, Just waiting, Thinking this was where she wanted to meet..

I saw a palm tree. It was random as.. I saw a moving palm tree..

I'm looking and talking to random people about their shirts as they walk past, each loving and most taking advantage of my shirt.. [Free Hugs].. When one person walking along with their girlfriend appears.. [Hugs Not Drugs].. Instantly making the connection between their shirt and my own, In one excited realisation I stopped him..
Pointed to his shirt, pointing to my own. He laughs..
His girlfriend, armed with a camera straight up wants photos..

We chat, and when she tells me her name, again, in one big excited realisation I reply,
"Oh my god! I have a friend with the same name!" And then, straight away.. I become saddened.. I look at the ground, saddest look of the century emerging on my face..
She holds me, asks whats wrong.. And then we end up in a induced D&M.. Which can go for 5 mins and share the most cherished of information, to an hour or so before we forget what we are talking about..
At that moment, I told her what I hadn't really told anyone else.. This person, That I had only just met 1 or 2 minutes before, now knows all about this girl I am in love with.. And she holds onto it, She cares, she doesn't try to change the subject, she wants more info..
We forget about what we are talking about, and end up talking about random stuff.. I asked her about this Palm Tree I saw, and she had seen it too.. Then both suddenly want to dance.. As I remember I was looking for my friend, we take a photo, and go to say goodbye..
We share numbers, as she was going to send me the photos, and we share MySpace's.. I still chat to her via MySpace, we plan on catching up..


--Some Side Effects--
I'm dancing with Rachel, we are just having fun, going nuts..
At first we had a group of us, a bunch of us, people left to go home and others arrived.. But in the end, it was just Tim, Rachel and me..

Smiling and nodding at randoms around us, people joining and then disappearing..
And then, like always, BANG..
It sets in..
The inevitable..
The horny'ness, the toey'ness, the primal urge to just DO anything that moves..
I look at her and say,
"Oh man, I'm so incredibly toey"
Which is something I tend to tell everyone so often while on them, everyone on them instantly agreeing..
She agrees, like always, and as always we share a couple of quick kisses..
Almost every time we are on them together, we end up kissing.. Nothing extreme, It just happens, god knows why haha.. Same mind state? I don't know..
I always end up kissing people, some I do know, some I don't know..
Utopia was one crazy for that, so many different girls..
They aren't anything more than just a quick one..
You have to be careful when you are on them, without even realising it you'll become very cuddly and touchy.. Often at the Moulin Rouge I'll end up with someone on my lap, or I'll be on someones lap, or I'll be cuddling them.. And both sets of hands will wonder without realising it..
Both people embracing it.. Every touch, electrifying, intensified, adding more and more excitement..
The softness of skin is much more intense, electrifying, adding more of a tickle, more of a sense..
The touch, to you will feel so nice.. You can feel their emotions.. You can feel what they are feeling..
To them, the touch is just so good.. The lightest touch can start to feel like it's meant to be a massage..
If you grab someone, squeeze them hard while rubbing them, it will be like an orgasm to them.. It is just amazing.. If you are both on it, You will feel their warmth, their heat, their body against yours, and it is just so amazing.. You are connected through an embrace.. Like both of your bodies are now in tune, you are a peripheral device to eachother.. Feeding off eachothers moment, mood, excitement, intensified feeling..

One moment I remember, one of the first times I ever did it.. It was at the Moulin Rouge in Kings Cross, Sydney..
I sat in this big leather seat they have at the front..
It felt like it cupped me in, it pulled me in..
The leather felt so smooth, so nice on me..
It was the most incredible seat I had ever sat in..
I sunk into it, I felt amazing, The seat put it's arms around me and just rubbed me all over..
I can not describe it any other way than this:
You know when someone rubs your back with the palm of their hand, it feels nice over that one spot their hand is currently on..
Times that by 2, and make it over your entire back in one go..


--The Randoms--
Throughout the night, You come across some of the strangest, funniest, funkiest and most bizarre people..

You have the typical "Hard Style" ravers..
Their flares big pants with flashy shiney reflective crap all over it (which are the coolest ever and so mesmerizing)
The fluffy girls..
The 'basically naked' girls walking around in big boots, bras and underwear with their nice tight bodies
The candy ravers with beads and coloured stuff all the way up their arms
The 'lads' which are the same no matter where you go
The people who just go all out with the theme, not caring what anyone things, but just to have a good time..

There was this one guy, tall bloke, he was everywhere.. He is in so many photos from the night.. It is hilarious.. He would always tap me on the shoulder or make known his presence whenever he was around me, as I would back..



I saw the Palm Tree again, but then this bloke, I don't remember his name.. Appeared, blocking me from seeing what it was! It was like I was never meant to find out.. Because, something would always happen when it appeared again..
Was I halucinating?
Was it real?
What was it?

Later on that night, I went on a mission.. I went looking for this "Palm Tree"..
I asked a couple people if they saw it, one bloke bluntly answering,
"Yeah, there is some hot bitch with it" and pointed..

I still never found it..

I was looking through photos on InTheMix for pictures of myself and Tim, and saw the Palm Tree girl.. Heh, she was hot..



--Excitement--
The smallest things amuse you..
A funny shirt can leave you so incredibly happy..
You don't often laugh, You can't be bothered laughing..
In your head you will be in hysterics, but on the outside you'll just look very very amused and happy..

We were sitting around towards the end of the night, just watching the lasers..
There was one I was mainly focused on, but every now and then another laser would take my attention..
At one point the lasers moved slowly, but strobed.. Focused on them it was like life was slowed down half speed..
Like everything was in slow motion.. It was just amazing..

I filmed it on my other phone, I'll eventually get the videos off that phone..

The music gets to you, it sinks right in.. It is just so incredible.. The emotions and feelings it gives you..
You can't listen to rock, rock irritates you..
You can't listen to rnb, it just doesn't work..
Trance, Electro, House, Hard Styles, it all works.. I don't know why, It is just the way it is.. For me atleast anyway, with all of those..

At one point this one song, off my favourite album at the time came on.. A song that reminded me of Miki for some reason..
...The space we are, The space we were...
I heard it, just briefly, as it was mixing in..
It caught my ear, I stopped for a second, my head looking left the fastest it ever had..

The lasers caught me in the eye and drew my attention in more..
...The face we are, The face we were...
The second lot of lyrics calling out..
I whipped out my phone, called Miki, put it on loud speaker and held it up..
I don't think he could actually hear me.. We had a really stupid conversation that involved mostly
"What?!"
"Where?"
"What are you saying?"
..and lots of yelling out to eachother..

The excitement of that song overwhelmed me, it was from A State Of Trance 2007 mixed by Armin Van Buuren.. It was just a song, but it was just amazing, familiar, awesome, I loved the song..


But, by the end of the night, overwhelmed by tiredness at the start, kept awake by artificial energy, it all had to come to an end.. Early too.. So fatigued from so much driving that day, It was time to end it..

The last time, was a good time. I wanted it to be that way..

The Laser Show for Public Domain:


Yes, the feeling is amazing, and no I don't regret ever starting them or doing them..

But one thing is for sure, I recommend people to NOT do them.. It can really mess you around, I could feel myself being messed around by them.. Being more short fused, less happy in the long run, and all sorts of things..

They aren't addictive themselves, but the feeling is addictive.. And they do really mess you up in the long run..