Gone

Where have you gone..?

What was once so beautiful, fun and simple.. Has become so complicated, so run down, so hurtful and depressing..

We used to be so close, we used to have so much fun.. Things were wonderful, awesome.. Something to be proud of and to remember..

Now it is hardly anything, I never see you.. I want to see you, I want to have fun, I want things to be good again..

It is no fault but our own..

I loved you, I really did.. At one point through it all, I had most definitely loved you, with all my heart..

It was so painful knowing you were no longer that close, we no longer shared those things.. It was so hurtful to see you, and know that I couldn't be close anymore.. I had hoped things would come back, but I knew they wouldn't..

I loved you.

For so long I wollowed.. And I know that pushed our friendship apart.. Because it was so hurtful to be around you, see you, and not be able to be close.. I tried to avoid situations.. I tried to not be close, because I knew it'd only hurt more..

Then I got passed it, and I guess by then it was too late.. I still tried to be friends.. Tried to pick things back up..

Muck around with you like I do with my friends, poke, tease, laugh.. But it just didn't seem to work..

Where'd you go..?

Deep down there was something, there was always something inside me.. For you.. I couldn't say it, I didn't say it, I never told anybody we knew.. There was maybe 1 or 2 other people in the world that I had mentioned it to..

People came and went, But always, I tried to get things back up.. I tried to mend things between us.. So we could be friends..

Just be the good ol inseperable duo I felt we were at one stage..

I'm still trying now..

But, I'm giving up..

I've tried too much, so I'm just going to stop..

I try to muck around.. But I feel pushed away..
I try to talk.. But I feel you don't care..
I try to invite you.. But I feel so rejected, ignored..
I try to be me.. But I feel it just doesn't work..

Where'd you go? Where have you gone..

What's wrong? Why aren't you being "you" anymore..?

It's sad, and it hurts.. You seem so down all the time.. So secluded.. Seem to only be wollowing in self pity about something I don't know or understand..

I feel like a small dog, sitting there staring at it's owner laying it their bed, ignoring me and not loving me anymore.. Quietly sobbing, while I sit there and wonder what I've done or how I can make them better.. I nudge them, I lick their hand.. But they move away, push me away, roll over and ignore me..

And I lay there, and sit there, and wonder.. What have I done..?