Sounds Rushing

I don't know how else to start this, this is a strange one.. One that is different..

Just a bunch of random thoughts, no proper construction.. No proper sentence structure, paragraphs are just out of whack.. It probably won't even make much sense..

But, it is just the random thoughts, the random things that spring to mind at that moment.. One thing setting off another, one bringing back another, one being totally out of place or context to the rest..

Whichever way, that is just how it is going to go..


Oh man, I'm hungry.. What to get.. Maccas, had it yesterday.. Thai, could go Thai.. Cheap and easy.. Maybe Indian.. I don't want to bring in lunch, that doesn't cut it for me.. I get over it.. Tried it, didn't work long.. Lasted about 2 weeks on healthy stuff.. Now I just have whatever.. I'm probably going to die soon.. Oh, imagine if I die.. That would suck.. I'd be mad shitty.. Oh man, if a friend died.. Would be so distraught.. I lost my Sammy, I was fair cut.. Loved that lil dog.. Best natured dog.. I was so upset.. I only discovered recently that fish can jump out of fish bowls.. Was like, what the hell? Gold fish jump? .. It made me laugh though.. Strange behaviors of strange lil creatures.. I wonder if fish get happy or sad.. Be like Nemo! .. Bouncing to es-cap-eh out of the fish bowl.. I wonder if fish smile.. Maybe they do? And we just can't see it.. I wonder what kind of smile.. "Thanks for this pimpin bowl!" .. Or something.. Just a happy little smile, because you gave them a home..? Smiles are awesome.. Some people can really affect me when they smile..

It's amazing.. How one can make you feel that way, just buy looking at them.. A single little glimpse, a little smile.. That cute smile, that one she has.. Makes you melt inside.. How do people have that power? How do you gain that kind of power.. That upper hand on someone.. Their smile, just glowing.. Lighting up the room, lighting up your day.. Instantly bringing one to your face.. No matter what mood you are in.. Just the look in their eyes, that sincere smile.. Nothing fake, you can tell if it's a fake one from them.. But you know, as much as they do.. That they mean that smile for you.. You can see it in their eyes.. Their eyes shining, sparkling, their face just radiating brightness and happyness..

Different smiles, different causes, different meanings.. The smile I get from her smile, is one of care, it's one for her.. The smile I get from my car, is a smile of excitement, eager to get out there, to be free.. The smile I get from friends is one of joy, happyness, true fascination of what is going to happen now.. The smile I get from Fry is one of love, happyness, a joy that only a pet can bring you.. The unconditional love, no matter how bad of a mood you are in, they are always going to bring out a little smile, a little bit of joy..

Nothing better than coming home from a bad day at work, or out.. And coming home to a wagging tail and a bounding loving dog.. One who will always love you, even when no one else does.. One who will always love if you, even if you forget to feed them, play with them, or leave them in the rain accidentally.. One who will always love you even if you go off at them for ruining some socks.. The socks can be replaced.. Oh socks, so many of mine are ruined.. I don't know how, I don't know why..

Oh socks, how random are they.. I remember being a kid, wearing socks, and running along tile floors sliding everywhere.. Fun times, awesome stacks and broken things.. But fun times.. I remember being a kid, being care free.. Riding my bike up to Adams place.. Playing the Playstation, or him jumping on his bike.. And us just riding everywhere.. Sometimes to other peoples places, getting them aswell.. Just being kids, free and happy.. Buying toy cars, making roads, going on adventures around the place.. All so care free..

Now I have my car, now I drive everywhere.. Adam now lives in Coffs Harbour, all the other people we'd travel with are gone.. I remember this one girl from Primary School.. Everyone had a crush on her.. I remember riding to her place one time.. And visiting.. We played Lego and talked and went for walks.. She had a Golden Retriever.. Good dog that, big one.. She was American.. She went back after year 6.. I found her randomly in a group on FaceBook for our Primary School.. That was bizarre..

I want to be a kid again, but sometimes I don't .. I just remember some things from what it was like, the good fun times.. But I can kind of relive those, just slightly different and more extreme.. More scaled up.. Fun times, shared in different ways with different people.. Going out, hitting the beach, going clubbing, street racing, buying outfits, disco candy, city trips, road trips and holidays, bowl noodles, taking someone out to dinner, movies, no sleep for 48 hours, fights, mobiles, take away, coffee and cafe nights, people trouble, girl worries, and all sorts..

Bush walks, riding bikes, staying up past 9pm, watching an M rated movie secretly, computer games, toy cars, petty shoplifting, the corner store with the wide lolly range, the fish and chip place with hot chips, the creek before it became rotten and toxic, the swimming pool, family outings, special "maccas" nights and buses to the shopping centre.. All so nice, all so simple, all so miniscule in comparison to the kind of stuff that happens today..

I'm happy where I am.. I have great people around me.. I love those people.. Care about them so much, I try to do lots for them.. I think I do, I hope they appreciate it.. Sometimes I don't know if they do or not.. But, I do it.. I tend to end up driving lots.. I don't mind it, Spending an extra 20mins or something on the road just so I can be able to have someone out with us.. It's usually not that much of a hike, and I do it.. I'm happy to, I really am.. If I didn't want to, I'd just say it.. Or wouldn't offer.. I don't always ask for petrol money, I don't always need it.. I only ask if I'm low.. I don't like taking cash from people..

It's not a pride thing, I just don't.. I'm happy to spend money on people, but don't always like taking it.. But it does mean alot when people do, Means so much to me.. I'd just rather pay for myself so they can use their money on them..

Money comes and goes..
But memories last forever.

I'm basically broke right now, I have like no money left until next week.. So I have to be careful with my spending! .. But, I'll manage, I'm owed a fair amount of money, So people better pay me back soon.. Alyce, Alice, Rachel and Vatha all owe me $100 for Soundwave tickets.. Oh man, thats going to be an awesome day.. It's ON my 21st.. So I get to be at a concert, with a huge group of friends, on my 21st bday! So awesome, I love music.. It's great.. Especially Trance and Electro right now! .. I still love some RnB and Rock.. But, mainly those 2 genres.

What would life be without music?

Music produces a kind of pleasure that human nature cannot do without. - Confucius

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

Music is your own experience,
your thoughts,
your wisdom.
If you don't live it,
It won't come out of your horn.
They teach you there is a boundary line to music. But, man, there's no boundary line to art. - Charlie Parker