A Day That Fades

When it comes to music, everybody has an opinion on it. And fair enough too, that is one of the many great things about it! It being so widely known and loved, every single person has been introduced to some kind of music at some point in their lives, it is just grounds for diverse opinions and styles.

But, it's when it comes to the opinions that the real problems arise. I'm sick of people who think they are 'scene' or in 'the scene' or think they are know-all gods with music.. I listen to it because I enjoy it, if a band becomes commercial, fair enough good on them for making a living.. As long as they keep producing music I enjoy listening to, I'll keep listening to them.


I just get sick of people who say they will only listen to non-commercial stuff because they "believe that the artist just isn't out for money".. You aren't as open minded about music as you may think, infact, you are probably narrowing yourself more than a lot of people out there.. Just enjoy music, for what it is.. Music is for everybody to enjoy, whether people make money off of it or not, doesn't bother me..

I'm generally speaking here, of course there will be people who don't fit under this light, and some who may more-so than others..

There are artists who have produced less quality music once they became more popular, and others who produced better music.. Some who did, actually, sell out after becoming more popular and started to repeat the same styles as other bands, losing what it was that made them unique..

It's the manufactured ones, and the ones who were once greats with unique music, who then decided to drop their style and follow the styles of any manufactured 'artist' just to try and sell more, instead of following their original path of what they once loved.


Okay I haven't listened to Pendulum much lately.. But this did make me laugh:
BeatPortal Article

Good on them I say.


Music can change so much, it can travel side by side with us as we go through many changes in our lives.. Both positive and negative.. So many of my greatest memories all have songs and different kinds of music associated with them..

My first gf, RNB music..
Sad and depressed times I have metal stuff..
Best memories have dance music..
and so on and so forth.. As my personality changed, so did my music taste.. As I had different experiences there were different songs, most of the time I go clubbing it is with dance music, and most of my best memories were nights out with friends.. Both at clubs and on the road, and most of those times were dance music..

As well as classic sing along songs, Bohemian Rhapsody, classic stupid one hit wonders that everyone knows the words of, cruising around town with a car load of friends just singing the most stupid songs out there.. So many fun memories, all associated with different types of music.


One person I spoke to about this topic, said to me "music has so much potential for power but it is so often wasted."

As true as that may be, I think that a song that is enjoyed by somebody, whether it has some kind of dramatic effect on them or not, I don't consider it wasted power..

Sure, it has the potential to change so much more on many different levels, but if it leaves somebody happy or feeling better or whatever, even if slightly, then that is some power used for a good purpose.. Therefore, I don't think that it is wasted!


One of my friends is a big muso, he is fantastic at guitar, great at the drums, and can even play the piano to some extent.. He is trying to write his own music, mixing the guitars with drums and lyrics..

I have alot of appreciation for people who are able to pull this off, I used to play guitar, but because I didn't have a strong passion for it and lacked the confidence I just didn't progress.. My instructor said I was good, and even offered me a position to teach, but I didn't take it up because I didn't feel I could do it.. So I dropped it..

But since I was once learning, looking at people who can do it, I have much more appreciation for.. It also allowed me to appreciate music around me much more, as I can see how much time, effort and emotion goes in to creating it..

Sure, electronic music might be easier to create (to some extent) and people may not think that there is as much emotion in it, as to something like Blues, or any other acoustic form (or the type of music people create the sounds for themselves, piano, guitar, etc).. But I feel that there is still heart and soul in it.. A different form to which some may believe as "music", but, there is still the passion in it.. And therefore it will touch different people in different ways..

Some hate it, some love it. That is the beauty of music.. it's not for everyone, but at the same time it is.


I love my job, I'm very lucky I get paid well to do something I love.. I love doing my graphics design, and I make a living off of it.. If I could make even more, hell that'd be fantastic!

If a musician can get paid to do what they love doing, and get even more money as more people listen to their work, then I say good on them!

How is it different to someone like me in my job earning more? If I suddenly started making ridiculous amounts of money from people liking my designs, buying and viewing them more and more.. As my work starts updating it's style along with the trends and stuff.. My love for it and passion still being there.. No one would care.. So why should it be like that with music?

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On A Good Day

Well is it 2009 now, and what a great start to the new year!
I'm sitting here with horrid sunburn on my back, from 1 hour in the pool at 10am this morning..
Love Australian weather.. Haha..


Anyway, I was sitting here thinking back on the last year..
Thinking about all the new people I have met, the new experiences, the new things, the fun times and the sad times..

My new car, which has been smashed for a month now thank to a Kangaroo..
My new goals and ambitions, some revisted (like toning up!), and some dropped..

Over this last year I have experienced a lot, come to many realisations and encountered so many up's and down's..

Sure, some won't even come close to what you or others may have encounterd, but still, to me, they were big points to my year..

You live, you learn though.

Through this year I have had fights with people, had people say stuff behind my back, and I've said stuff behind theirs.. We all have our reasons, but at the end of the day, we only say this stuff because we care about that person or the situation.. If we didn't care, why would we even bother to say things?

Sure it isn't much justification to do so, but we do it, everyone does it.. It is just a part of life.. It will always be around us, and if we don't learn to live with it and deal with it, we'll just crumble..

Anyway, last night I had a sort of 'rekindling' moment with somebody I once cared so much about, we had a big falling out, and it lasted for a while until last night.. Afterwards, it made me think of all the wasted time we had because of the position both of us were in..

We may be close once again, we may not be, but atleast we made a move to make things better than they were.. Hopefully from now on, things won't be so hard or awkward if one of us are mentioned or around each other..

Thank you for that.


One of my new years resolutions for 2009 is to not care about the past.

There have been falling outs, drifting apart and me standing back from people because of things that have happened in their lives and impacted on mine.. Be it a big fight with other friends affecting my position with both, or whatever.

I'm resetting everybody who has drifted, walked away, or had problems with me (or vice versa) to Zero. They're all sitting at the same level on 0 now..

I'll be pleasant and peaceful with them, have fun or whatever if they'll let me.. But if they don't put in any effort with our relationship, they'll stay at 0 or I just won't bother..

If they're willing to put in effort along with me, things will be better once again :)


I have lots of people around me which I still love deeply, and they reciprocate (atleast I hope they do!!) so if these others don't bother, I don't feel at loss. As they obviously don't either!


You may call me skeptical when it comes to people these days, call it a defence mechanism, as it has got me numerous times.. I have people telling me alot that I care too much, well, times are changing, and I feel great..

I feel 2009 has brought me a great big fresh feeling.. A time for more greatness, and new things :)


I'm really looking forward to pushing friendships in to being alot stronger than they are.. I'm really looking forward to meeting all those new people I'm going to meet.. All the new experiences, and using my new knowledge from 2008 to make 2009 that much greater!


When I crashed my car avoiding a Kangaroo, I was so distraught.. But through this unfortunate event, I have seen lightness within so many people I literally didn't even know until that time..

People in clubs giving me their support, helping me find stuff I need.. Supporting me in this unfortunate situation.

My friends all constantly offering a hand, checking up on it and everything.. It's great!

Here are a couple of pics (Click to enlarge):



Life is really looking up :)

Here's to a great new year!

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Someone Else

The music is blasting..
He is sitting there, with his friends..
Tapping his feet to the beat..
The music transitions, and a new song comes on..
A crowd favourite..


He jumps up, and starts singing it loudly and dancing..
Those around him following suit..

It is a good night.

As the song finishes, he sits back down..
Squeezing between his friends..
The music is blasting, the lights are flashing, colours and bodies moving everywhere..

It is a good night.

Looking around, as his friends are all talking at the top of their lungs..
Trying to battle the never ending battle against the volume of the music, He makes eye contact..

An instant connection, one felt and shared strongly between another..
A perfect moment.

They share smiles, they share looks..
He gets up, walks over to her, and holds his hand out..
No words needed, no gifts, no suggestions..
She reaches out, and they go.

Disappearing into the masses of jumping and swinging bodies..

It is a good night.

They dance, close and fast..
Vigorously trying to keep up with the beats..
They tire, and get drinks, and sit together..
Close, talking about life, talking about themselves..
Sharing stories and jokes..

This is their night.

It is a good night.

The night wears thin, her friends want to go, They share numbers, and kiss goodbye..

Days go by, they're together again, driving along music blasting..
Their anthems from the night before, the songs that bring them back to that night..

Then suddenly, a shunt to the left, and it all goes blurry with a bright flash..

The music rushes back in, the lights start flashing once again, the bodies are back..
You return to the war, the war of the night life conversations..

You snap back into reality, no longer watching..

You're back to yourself, blinking and looking around..

"HEY!!" yells a familiar voice..

There she is, with her big beautiful smile, the designated photographer of the group, blocking the view of the one that just occupied your mind for that short while..

To your left, your best friend attempting to communicate with you throughout your lapse.. Looking at your with curious eyes.. Wanting a photo with you, a forever lasting memory with somebody she loves..

The night is still young.

Your friends disappear, their mission is over..
You glance back over, and she is gone..

The perfect person in your memory, that perfect moment you shared..
Had you gone over there, how different your life could have become..
Left there, wondering if you'll ever see them again..

This night, still young...

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Elements Of Life

The voice is loud.. Deep.. Strong..
The atmosphere starts to become more intensified..
Screams, squeels, yelling, eagerness and panic are binding..
Becoming one giant formation..

The ambiance is building behind the voice.. A familiar sound..

The lights glow and fade.. Images forming in the distance..

The room lights up blue..
Flashes everywhere..

2 Minutes go by, excitement builds..
The speech is nearing the end..

Then finally.. The name is called..

The bass hits hard, fast strong solid beats, explosions all along the front..

Sparks and fire erupt out of cannons..

The lights flash fast, the name scrolled and flashed before everyone..

The music starts, his face shows, the music absorbs everyone..

He is Tiesto, he is Trance.

God is a DJ.



I love Trance music, I really do..

Trance, Hard Trance, all forms of it.. The chilled out beats, the fast hard beats, the beats that get you relaxing and listening, those that make you want to dance.. Those that just absorb you into the sound and filter out everything around you..

No sad and depressing lyrics, generally love, or just random statements mixed and repeated throughout..

I love the futuristic theme that most artists put into their music, the themes about the environment, the world around you and I..

The subtle beats and noises mixed at the precise time to give the song that bit of extra depth to it..

I find it greatly relaxing, enjoyable..

I saw Tiesto on the 3rd of May at the Hordern Pavilion in Sydney..

It was sooo good, I enjoyed it so much.. I love Tiesto and his work!

I sat back on the seats to the very front right of the stage, just kicked back and enjoyed the show.. I didn't feel like dancing, going hard or going crazy.. I wanted to remember it all, enjoy it all.. Let the visual images of the music appear in my mind.. Like I do most days at work..


It relaxes me so much, I may be fuming and angry, but will put some of this on just to enjoy it and calm myself.. If I have no car to do it, my Trance collection will..

It is so totally my thing right now haha..

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Oranges

Looking upwards, arms outstreched as far as he possibly could..
Still just unable to reach..
He jumps up, hand just grabbing it and pulling it off the branch..
"One more!" he says in excitement
His sister, standing there patiently.
Eagerly watching another freshly ripe orange drop into the heavy bag clenched tightly in her arms.

"Kids!" echoed their grandmothers voice.
Turning around, with big smiles on their faces, they looked down the hill and amongst the trees to see their loving grandmother standing on the balcony.
Hands waving
Calling them to come back

It was lunch time, they had been out for a good hour now picking the tree of every single Orange.
It also was one of the days of the month where the sprinklers are set up everywhere.
Strategically picking where to walk, so they didn't get their favourite clothes wet, they hurried as fast as they could while carrying the multitudes of Oranges back to the house where their nan awaited.

Their grandfather, a loving and caring man had grown many different things around his property.
Lemons, Oranges, Passionfruit. Tomatos, Lettuce, Cabbage and various other horrible things that the children made efforts to avoid.
He took care, he had passion in what he did, everything he did he put heart and soul into.
He took care in safe proofing his house, for the large number of regular visitors, he took care in the presentation and the craftmanship.

All he wanted for when he retired, was for a place that people could come and visit, a place that people would enjoy visiting. And sucessfully he did so.

As the children made it back, they unleashed their collection
"Look at them all nan!" they said proudly
As their grandmother brought the juicer.
"Look at them..!"



"Guess what Pa just built! You'll love it" says his father
Watching the joy in his sons eye, the excitement..
He knew his grandfather liked building things, but what was it this time?
Something big? Cool? Fast?

Walking into the garage, he saw a machine, unsure what it was underneath the blue coloured tarp..

whoosh off comes the tarp, and a huge smile erupts on his face.

4 wheels, a makeshift steering wheel, a shiney motor on the back.
Bright red wheels, green frame, yellow seat.

"What do you thi..-
His grandfather cut off half sentence, as he lunges into his belly in a loving embrace.. Saying the greatest thank you he could without using words..
He climbs up into the driver seat, eagerly ready to venture out..
As far as the trees at the top, and as low as the river at the bottom..
The engine starts, he is off..



There he sits, alone, quietly.
Computer in front of him, bored.
All the simple joys that were once there, are now miniscule, desolate.
Nothing to be enjoyed anymore.

The toy parking garage, the trees, the river, the boat, the fruit, the caravan.
Nothing of that he finds fun anymore.
Trips down there are boring now, he just wants to go home.

Tapping away at the computer keys, his fathers old laptop that he since claimed for the one purpose..
So he can be entertained in this place.
This country place, over an hour away, in the middle of the country, no mobile reception, limited FM reception.
Why would you want to live out here?

His grandfather, standing in the corner looking at him with sad eyes.
What happened to the boy who so loved his creations?

He saw him out of the corner of his eyes, watching him as he tapped away on the keyboard.



"..And there is a quadbike, a speed boat, and lots of land, it is a nice escape!" he brags to his 2 mates as they are in the car heading out there.
"We can go waterskiing!"

They arrive, the dogs barking and running up the driveway in anticipation to see who is coming.
They step out of the car, and know the correct procedure to avoid a clobbering and being showered in slobber.

Running up to his nan he hugs her hello, and searches for his grandfather.
"Pa is by the river!"
The boys walk down and greet him.

Their weekend is spent at high speeds tearing around the property on the brand new quadbike..
Occasionally hooking a trailer up to it so all 3 could go for the ride..
The times were good once again, the house keeping up with the needs to entertain the young teenager..

Once again, the joy is returned..
But only briefly..

As time went on, the visits lessened, becoming one or two days at a time..

Over the span of his later years in high school, everything just became a memory..
Spending times with friends and on the computer, replacing the trips to visit..
Little did he know, the place he once loved was now deteriorating..

The house was now sold, the equiptment and other major things sold and given away..
The things he used to love and enjoy, gone..

They moved up north to the beachy town of Nelson Bay, visits there still not as often, although it was a beautiful place he loved..

Slowly his grandfather started losing his health, between one visit, and the next visit his grandfather turned from the active healthy and creative man, to the fragile and weak man..


And then one day, 22nd January 2006, he is laying in his bed with a group of friends, it is around 10:30am the night after having a party.

His father walks into the door, and pronounces the news.


In one go, so many memories go flowing through his mind, the memories that his grandfather has left him with, the regret of not spending more time when he had the chance, the regret that he was never able to properly say thank you, I love you, and goodbye before his passing.

The times of sitting in that house, bored, when he could have been out with him.

He will always miss him.

I will always miss him.




Brian Leonard Williams
16 February 1927 - 22 January 2006
Aged 78 years

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