Mercury Room

Again, I have this feeling.. This bad gut feeling.. A feeling of worry, concern, stress and just negative..

Whenever I get "this feeling" it is usually negative, and usually comes true..

I feel worried, I feel concerned about something.. It is stressing me out, bringing me down, making me feel sad and distressed..

I just want to go home right now, leave work 2.5 hours early and just get home.. Get in my car, and go for a cruise..

Driving for me is a stress relief, Whenever I am angry, I can jump in my car.. Go for a "spirited" drive (speed limits, cruising along slowly and carefully) and I will be calm soon after..

Or I go for a burn, where I fang it everywhere, weave amongst traffic, don't bother indicating, speed heaps, and be an all out stereotypical P-Plater/Arsehole on the road.. I put the AWD to it's limits and really take over the road..

Both ways calm me down, when I'm really angry, I tend to do the latter alot..

Whenever I get this feeling, it had always been before something hurt me emotionally.. I have a feeling I may know what it is, but I am just hoping that I'm simply worrying myself too much, and that nothing is going to happen..

Whenever I mention it, especially in previous occasions people tend to think it is about them, no it is not. It is a gut feeling I have that is intense because it is going to impact on me mainly. The last few times this feeling has come along just before someone breaks my heart, or tells me of something that hurts me emotionally, and it really impacts.

Sigh, I hope everything will be fine. I don't have the cash for petrol to go for a full burn or drive, That is my stress relief. When I lost my license for 3 months about 5 months ago, when I'd get stressed, I had to way to release it, So it built up lots.. And just recently it all came out in one big explosion. I don't want to have to have that happen again..

You know what, I think I will go for a drive tonight. I might go visit somebody I haven't seen in a while.